Waiting...

I seem to have left all my thoughts inside my head. I go to sleep writing out my next post but never seem to stop and type it out.   There is so much going on these days.  But the biggest thing is learning to WAIT.   I remember over a year ago when Jerry and I decided to pray about him finding a new job.  I remember all the resumes we typed up and applications that we kept filling out.  Then hitting 'send' and waiting.  Each time hopeful for a new adventure. Each time watching him go off to work to provide but knowing how much his body hurt.  Each day hoping he would come home unharmed.  Each time he came home hurting more than the day before.  Each time he would come home to rest and then get back up and go out again.  Because that's the man I married. The man that will keep going until he can't any more.  He will put his whole heart into it and not complain.  Go out in the rain and the cold and the heat ,all the crazy weather,and keep going.  His clients expected him to come and  he was glad to help them so they could go on their next adventure. He kept going and we kept waiting for a door to open, a new door with new opportunities.

So many times in the past year and a half , he came home with an injury that would keep him down for a week or three....and we waited, for him to recover , for a new door to open.  Sometimes, more often than not, most days I look back and I can see how the Lord was speaking into him... "this is it, slow down, look around, I have something new for you"  But if we aren't really looking , listening and waiting for his words with our eyes wide open, I think we miss the message. So He "God" has to keep speaking to us. For Jerry it has been another injury,  broken ribs, injured foot, cramped up hands, and a back that won't work right.  Now he came to a place where he was stuck.  Just to put his socks on was impossible.  Now we hear you Lord.  Why Do we keep going when he just wants us to listen.  But when we finally hear him, he says "stop, WAIT"  I have a better plan.

We have spent over three months on this new journey, from each Dr appt, we wait for the next. We wait to see if the next treatment works. We wait to see the right specialist. We wait as the pain medicine kicks in.  But as we wait, Life still goes on. The Lord is still writing our story.

The Lord is still in charge and now I see that "HOW WE WAIT IS THE BEST PART OF THE STORY, or atleast IT CAN BE..."

DO I WAIT WITH FEAR ?    
  I sought the Lord, and he answered me, and delivered me from all my fears. (Psalm 34:4)

DO I TRUST HIM  WHO BREATHES LIFE INTO ME ?

DO I TRUST THAT HE WILL PROVIDE MY DAILY BREAD?

Trust in the Lord and do good; so you will live in the land, and enjoy security. Take delight in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the Lord; trust in him, and he will act. Be still before the Lord, and wait patiently for him. (Psalm 37:3-5, 7a)

Just some of the thoughts I think on and YES during this journey I DO ... I have more peace today than I have had during the past year , watching Jerry leave each day and praying, sometimes begging the Lord to help him come home un-injured.... Now I see him hurting , trying to be part of the family, functioning some days better than others. but he is home and he won't get hurt worse and I believe with all my heart that once we get to right person(DR) in this process of WAITING he will be healed and better than he has been in YEARS.  I can hardly wait for the time this summer when he will be able to go for a walk, a hike, kick the ball with the kids, just be active with us again.:)

I believe there is  peace to be found in the midst of any trial if we give it completely over to the one who Writes the story, to our CREATOR, Our Heavenly Father, who LOVES us so much that even when we struggle , he is using it to give us more strength.  OH HOW HE LOVES US !!
I feel that Love,, it is extended through friends who send a text just to say "How are you" it is through a hug, a song that plays on the radio, the phone calls that come and say just thinking of you. It is through those that show up with groceries and fill our pantry and freezer and the way all the bills somehow get paid even when there is no income.  It is the friend who says I bought too many light bulbs , and brings some over when I have traded all the good bulbs around and there still isn't enough light to do school.  It is time with my husband , HOME, even when he hurts , it is the gift of TIME.. For so many years he has left early and returned late , tired, weary , hungry , hurt.  Now we get to have him around all the time. it is fun to just know he is right in the next room. to have good talks, to hang out with him, listen to him with  the kids. watch him interact and make memories. Recharging our family time, what a gift. We are so thankful for this season

The waiting is for a purpose.  This time is the perfect time.  The Lord is working in our hearts and showing us glimpses of what is ahead.  He has great things planned for our family and I am excited for this next season. He is preparing us to serve HIM in a new way and it is an honor to feel and know that whatever is ahead is part of GOD' plan.  He allows us to go through things to get us ready for the next journey. I think the peace we have is because we are in HIS will right now.  A season of resting and getting strong again so we can carry on with the new mission that the Lord is opening a door to
If you read all the way to the end of my ramblings, please pray with us : Pray for Healing of Jerry's body, Pray for us to Keep our eyes on JESUS, Pray for us to have strength in each day and trust God's provisions continuously, Pray for clarity as we seek the next door to go through, That the Lord would make it very clear as we get closer to the next decision. In all things let us find JOY, if we look through the Lord's eyes it will be evident all around us. Love and Blessings,💜Tammy