Settling in....

I just realized we have been home for over two months. In some ways time has flown by and in other ways it has been the longest four months of our life together. Coming home was the greatest joy of this journey. Settling in at home , on the otherhand, has been filled with so many ups and downs.
The joy of being together as a family has been wonderful. Learning logistics with both of us back at home had some challenges in the beginning. AJ had been holding down the fort for two months. Taking care of his siblings, working and finishing school. Making decisions that needed to be made and handling big responsibilities. There was an adjustment time as the ranks changed. Releasing duties but carefully protecting his Dad at the same time .
There were ideas of how things would be easier once we were home. Mostly for Jerry, not being restricted in his day to day living. Though as we returned and started living life, the reality is. Things are harder . Just going from point A to point B in the house or on the property can be very exhausting.
Jerry is walking more and more,with his walking crutches. He uses his wheel chair when we are away from home. Mostly, for his endurance. It is exhausting for him to do lots of walking on his crutches and then try to do anything else once he gets to where he needs to be, especially if it's a great distance.
Our weeks have consisted of 2-3 Dr. appointments weekly. Follow ups with surgeon. Physical therapy and occupational therapy twice a week in Bremerton.
Upon leaving the Spinal Cord Injury Unit, his diagnosis at the time is Quadraplegic (incomplete injury) C-5. Which means he has injury in all quadrants from his C-5 down. He has regained much sensory in his hands, though his hands are still problematic. his right hand seems to be the worse, he spends a lot of time trying to keep his fingers stretched open, they seem to want to curl up all the time. This is frustrating, as he wants to use his hands, he loves to be doing things and he is learning to adapt all the time. He still has loss of feeling from his belly button down. It is so interesting as to how the nerves are effected. Some days he has more sensory than others. He is on numerous Med's to control the nerve spasms and nerve pain. We live by the alarms set on his phone 4x a day to take his load of pills. His legs are strong, even though he doesn't have a lot of feeling in them. His right side is the most numb. Just in the past few weeks, he has regained some new feeling in them. Just last week he felt the wind blowing on his leg. He stepped on something off the floor and as he complained about the pain., we realized that he could feel it !! Which was a great thing ;)
Being home has meant facing reality, letting go of expectations.. and finding contentment in the journey. We are learning to grieve some things we were hoping would be transformed once Dad had surgery. We are learning to accept that this healing could take a very long time. We don't know exactly how much nerve damage will be returned completely. We are hopeful and trusting the Lord to completely restore him. We also know that the Lords plan often looks different than ours. Sometimes the most difficult part of the day is just staying encouraged. We have to be joy seekers all the time. Honestly, that is not always easy .. But giving in to discouragement and doubt can wipe you out mentally and the time it takes away from progressing is not worth the loss. We have found ourselves there a few times since being home, and those were some hard days.
Thankfully, Joy does come each day. The first few weeks, just having the younger two kids run into our room to "make sure we were still there " was so heart tugging and wonderful. The gift of "Time" together , I can not say enough about how much I treasure that more than anything. Seriously, if we had to do this all over again, I would go through it just for the gift of Time together we have been given.
The blessings that have been poured out upon our family have been so amazing and beyond anything we could imagine. We have always tried to live in full surrender to the Lord, trusting Him for our daily bread, our every need. It is a daily walk in faith when you are trusting Him for each and every need. Having your own business reminds you that each day is all you can count on. Jerry hasn't worked since Jan 3, 2015. We have been blessed so many times above and beyond. Just as I would start to wonder how we could make the house payment or get some thing that we needed, the need has always been met. We are completely in Awe of how much the Lord Loves us and has surrounded us with friends and family whom are obedient to his promptings. We want to always make sure we are not taking any gift for granted. Our desire is to stay humble and yet we want to scream from the Mountaintops all the ways he has blessed us. Shortly after arriving home, friends showed up in our driveway and gave us keys to a newer van for us so that all the driving would be comfy and in a reliable vehicle. A recliner that would lift to standing for Jerry to use was brought over. Our freezer was filled with meat. A patio table, so we could be outside and enjoy the summertime. New fans were placed inside the house before we returned to keep us cool. Numerous other things have happened and my list goes on and on. A few weeks back we were coming close to a bill needing paid and AJ's scout troop had done a collection and it was just what we needed. This has happened time and again in so many ways.I am finishing this post as we are visiting the Ocean on a mini vacation we were blessed with to recharge before our schedules are filled with all the activities that come when school starts. We just want to say Thank you over and over to all of you for your Love.
Jerry applied for Social Security Disability and they said it would take about 6 months, we just got a letter that it is starting up already. Just another way to know we are being carried through each step of this journey. We have had so much peace during this entire year, it is only the peace that can come from the Lord. If our hope was not anchored in our Faith and trust this whole journey could be so dismal and full of discouragement and anger. We do not wish to ever go there, we will keep our eyes lifted and Trust in the Lord as he continues to shine brightly on this journey.
This was a long read thanks for sticking with me to the end. I pray you are encouraged in whatever you are going through today and that no matter how difficult it seems , remember there is a purpose to our trials. Sometimes we just have to wait and settle in and see what is in store for us.
We Praise the Lord for his continued faithfulness to our family.
We are thankful for Jerry's continued healing and his strength each day.
Thankful for the guys who are stepping up to help me get Jerry to his appointments, such a huge blessing as I try to get our homeschool days going again.
Please pray with us for him to continue regaining strength and feeling in his body
Pray that he would stay encouraged , when the days are hard and that he can remember how far he has came in just a short time.
Pray that our busy schedule for the fall would come together smoothly.
Thank you for coming and being part of our journey, we Love you and are greatful for each of you.
Tammy, Jerry, AJ, Katie, Sarah and Isaia
Here are some pics to enjoy..Some memories as we "Ended summer better than it started "

Making memories at the ocean!

It was a bit breezy, Jerry was not ready to tackle the sand. Thankful for the Promenade at Seaside to give him some sidewalks to enjoy the ocean.

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AJ Our Eagle Scout

Sunday we celebrated AJ as he received his Eagle Award Rank. We are so proud of this young man and all he has accomplished with Scouts in just under 3 years. Just goes to show you that if you really work hard and persever through the hard times you can meet your goals and finish strong.

He officially earned his rank on Jun 9,2015. Taking care of his younger siblings and finishing school and working made it tough the last year but so thankful he was able to keep focused. We are blessed by him.

I will do an update on Jerry in the next day or so, being home has been so different with finding time to write. I miss it , just haven't had time carved out yet. Blessings to all

 

 

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~~ Home Sweet Home ~~

This week is the best week of the year ! We are all together again. Nothing makes our hearts happier. What a long journey it has been, I know for some it goes on much longer. I am thankful that this chapter is as long as it gets for us. The transition here at home will take some getting used to . But, the fact that we can work through things as a family is so helpful. Jerry's spirits have never been higher. he is motivated to get up and go each day. HOME is healing. Home is love giving. Home is JOY Giving at its finest.
We came home Monday evening. Arrived to a welcome sign and fresh,colorful flowers along the walkway. A sun canopied table with a menu and fresh tea, to on the East side of the house.. Someone else had even set up canopies on the west side with chairs. Plenty of outside sitting to get the fresh air soaked in. what a blessing to be so loved and we are so thankful for all those that are encouraging us along this journey. It would be such a hard, lonely road without you all and our Heavenly Father to carry us thru.
I will share a few of our memories from Monday eve. I still have a video of Jerry's walking to finish, soon. ;)
We Love you all,Tammy & Jerry and family

Home Together

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Plans Change

I have said time and again, we are living this journey as God writes the story. I catch myself planning things out the way I hope/want them to happen. Silly me, when I know that the Master Planner already has it written down. HIS story, our story is part of the journey.

I went home over the weekend and worked on things to prepare for our return. The kids have done a great job keeping things pretty much together. We are soproud of them for all they have done these past few months while we were away. How they have grown closer and just took charge and still enjoyed life and all their activities. We are beyond thankful for the friends and family that have came along to be the extra Mom and Dad to our kiddos during these long weeks.
This week started with the excitement of departing the VA Hospital on Wednesday morning- 1 July. Jerry worked hard these last two days with all of his therapies. Through all the weeks here in rehab, he has always given 110% to every therapy session. He fought off exhaustion, back pain, spasms, discouragement when his body doesn't do what his mind wants it to do. He always followed thru and made the best of every situation. ( This doesn't surprise me one bit :) thats my man !! )

Tuesday, I went home to do a final run thru of the house to make sure things were ready for Dad coming home. Lots of medical supplies to find a place for and med equip to place in our small cozy home. Everything looks great and then he calls to say he has a Fever of 102.9 He has been so healthy these last two months, besides the first week of recovery from surgery. So this was such a shock to both of us.
I think in my mind the only thing that would change our departure would be if he decided to do something crazy like walking too much with his crutches or walker and fall or something like that. But to have an infection was not even in our mind. I was in tears Tues evening, we have waited so long for this journey to change course and the idea of all of us being together again was so JOY filling. I was mad, heart broken, discouraged and weary. I just wanted this to all be done, and being home was thte final page of this part of the story. This fever is a JOY zapper, for sure. I received a msg from a friend with a verse that reminded me to trust the Lord's plan. :

But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong. 2 Corinthians 12:9-10God has amazing plans for your family. I'm sorry there have been so many hurdles! I'm convinced they are all pieces of this amazing story God is writing. Praying for strength and encouragement for you both. Love ya bunches!

I was able to tell the older two that night, they were bummed but thankfully can understand this, almost better than Jerry and I. I dreaded telling the younger two. Isaia has been counting the hours til we are all home together. He had told me earlier, "one more sleep, Mom ". They stayed at friends house Tuesday, I needed to be strong to tell them. Though , deep down I am tired of being strong, I am weak and I need the Lord more than ever. Jerry's body is weak and the Lord is the giver of his strength.
So, I came back across on the midnight ferry. What a beautiful night , with a full moon and the stars shining brilliantly, lighting the way in the night. I was reminded to keep my eyes on the Lord, he is guiding us and is navigating our path. I am reminded of how , even in the darkness his way is perfect and makes a way when we can't seem to see, we don't know what's ahead but He does and He is not surprised by anything that happens. Oh, to trust him and keep my eyes focused on HIS perfect plan.
Wednesday we fought thru tears of disappointment. Jerry's body is still fighting through this fever. Pray for it to be broken and his strength to be renewed. ~~ We are thankful that this came on before we went home, that would have been much more difficult to deal with. We are thankful he has a cool place to be, this has been the hottest summer on record here in the NW. 80's and 90's are NOT the norm for June here. So, there are several ways we can Count it all Joy. He is on a round of IV antibiotics thru the weekend. So we will be here until the beginning of next week. It's been 9 weeks , whats one more, right.
We are taking these days to just rest and be ready for the transition home. It is giving us both time to pray and lift up others we know going through some very difficult times right now. It's a blessing of time ,even though our hearts desire was to be home with the kids by this weekend. Our Independence day is coming soon.
Please pray for the antibiotics to work and clear up Jerry's infection and no more complications
That his body would gain strength and he would be able to rest these extra days
That the kids would be strong and have a fun weekend
That we would not be discouraged through this bump in the journey.
That Jerry would be healed so we can go home early next week !
That we can be encouragers to others we meet here during our last days in the Spinal unit and that the Lord would be glorified through this latest change of plans.

In the Fisher House tonight is a family whose loved one is having a heart transplant on the 4th, pray for them and the family that chose to donate to them.
Thank you all for coming alongside of us. your prayers truly carry us through the hard days as well as tthe good days. we Love you all
Tammy and Jerry

 

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The end of this chapter is near :)

Life is going really well here: Jerry is making AMAZING progress each and every day. Walking more and more . The days are really long with therapy and we are just wiped by the end of the days. I have been making weekly trips back home to be with kids and get the house ready because :
WE ARE GOING HOME THIS WEEK !!!!! 🎉🎉💜💜🎉🎉
Yes after 9 long weeks this chapter is almost done ! Thanks for being with us on this journey. I have so much more to share but little time to share it, YET. I will , and I do have some videos I will try to post soon of Jerry's progress in action.
Pray for us this week as we make huge transitions back to home life and family life. We are so Excited to be together with the kids and they are counting down the days as well. We are looking forward to just some down time with our family all together. But we still have a few days of work here and a whole new journey ahead of us. We Love you all and thank you for your support and Mostly we Praise The Lord for his healing and overwhelming strength through this.

The long stretch

**** This post is about a week overdue, never hit publish ;)

Life is very busy here so I will try to give a more current update in next few days. Know thingsare progressing   well here.  We are worn and ready to go home. We Love you all and are truly thankful for each of you.

***

The last two weeks have been long. They have had great moments in them but also many hard times. We are now 5 weeks post surgery. Our time in the Spinal Unit is becoming very familiar to us. We are in a steady regiment daily. Jerry has Physical and Occupational Therapy 6 days a week. He is working so hard. Every little victory is a Huge victory. I am so proud of this guy.

It's like going backwards as an adult and having to relearn everything you have taken for granted your whole life. But this time, your mind knows how to do it, but your body doesn't always have the strength or the control to make it happen. His right side is still the most affected. It is stronger than it was 5 weeks ago, Praise the Lord !! Some days the pain overrides the strength. Some days the pain is absent and the strength takes off. Some days the body is so worn it takes all he has to get up and try again. But he does, he doesn't quit. He wakes up early and starts Praising the Lord and doing his stretches.
We met with the Jerry's team last week and they set a promising date of 2 July for returning home. We are so excited to get to that day !! Just knowing the day is coming brings joy and so much hope. The inbetween is still hard, and what's ahead is so foreign to us.
Jerry is beginning to cruise around well in his Wheelchair. He is able to keep up with my walking speed and tries to pass me now;) He can transition to and from most everything now. He passed off on getting into our van so we have been out to the park last week and out to a store and the Licensing. Recreational Therapy has taken us out to get him new shoes, to Alki Point beach to trial run some sidewalks and ramps along with taking in some beautiful scenery and this week to the Museum of Flight and worked on navigating carpet and crowds.
In house, he has been walking more each day, he was up to about 300ft or more at this point. today he did that in the walker. He received his new brace for his right leg and that is making a huge difference in his control on that side. His strides are really looking good. His confidence is building after each session. The goal is to be able to go home with his wheel chair but be able to get around for short distance; the house and such , with his walker.
The kids are getting used to taking the Ferry across to come and see us. It makes the drive a bit entertaining and not so distant. We Love there visits, though they seem few and far between when you just want to see them everyday !! Last week I went home and surprised them and AJ came up here to be with dad. It was a short but good visit. Leaving them was one of the hardest things I have ever done. Isaia, our 7 yr old, gave me a big hug and squeezed my face and said " I understand, Mama, you need to be with Dad to help him get better to come home" That kid !! what a joy ! The girls struggled more with me being home then leaving. It's not what I wanted to do but what needs to happen and sometimes we have to just keep going and trust the Lord's plan. He has prepared those kids for this season. They are taking on amazing tasks and closer to each other than ever before.
The blessings, yes, all of you , our dear friends and family. Thank you for pouring out to us. There are meals for the kids , there is not a need at home , always something shows up just when they might need it. God is so good. Our bills have been paid, all of them, since January when Jerry stopped working. It is completely giving it all to the Lord and trusting hiim to carry us through this season. The Love and support we have felt is beyond words. But what words we have we share with everyone we meet up here. At our family meeting last week to discuss Jerrys care, the one comment repeated was that they can see us relying on our Faith and each other. Just living out this story is sharing the Lord's love. thank you for helping us carry out this story he is writing. Thank you for praying us through this, we feel your prayers and we see them every day !
This week has been one of the hardest emotionally for both of us. Exhaustion is the biggest part, but the stretching can wear you down. When we are down or just have our eyes closed a little Satan can slip in. this week Fear was entering in and it was a battle that was fought and that fear has been cast out. I donn't think I have ever seen such a rough time until that nasty fear crept in, be on guard because Fear is not something that is healthy and it can cripple you when you thought you already were.
There is no fear in Love, but perfect Love drives out fear.,Thankful fr the Lords perfect love....

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One step at a time

Well, we are three weeks post surgery. I can't believe how time flies. This was Jerry's first official week of Rehab here at the Spinal Unit. We have a wonderful team to work with. The days are full. He gets up bright and early to begin his personal care, I usually get in by 8 , as he becomes more independent I am coming in a little later. Due to his back injury, which actually led to this, Praise the Lord, he has needed some extra help for quite a while before surgery. As we are learning and connecting the dots to his injury. We are seeing how this damage to his spinal cord has been going on for many years.

He has a great plea for anyone whom may have tingliing in your hands, neck and extremeties that you have ignored or thought was nothing major, Please talk to your Dr and get an MRI. Especially , he is thinking of his buddies he flew with. Wearing the Flight helmets and NVG's bouncing on your neck while flying.

So after breakfast , he is off to appointments from about 9:30 til 3:30. There are appts throughout the day for therapy, Meeting with Dr, psychiatrist,Social Worker. He works hard each and every day. There are classes to attend some days and some times its just group discussions for patients with similar conditions. The uniqueness is that they are all Veterans and they share their stories. This is rehab where you get what you put into it. I can say that Jerry is putting his whole energy into it. So proud of him and his determination each day.

He finally was given the chance to walk this week. Though it seemed like it was past due in his eyes. He did amazing and has been giving it a go each day. The first day was about 20ft. By day 3, he is up to about 80 ft. Some on the balance bars and some on a walker. As he was given this opportunity, it gave him the reality of what in his legs is working and what is still asleep. He is such a fighter. This guy will tough it out as much as he can. They are noticing that his right leg is still super weak, and have decided to have him fitted for a brace for his right leg. It is going to help alot with over extending his knee and just keeping his leg healthy as it recovers. It is strange at times he says both legs are numb , but his left leg is more functional and close to normal. His right side is mostly still the worse of the two. Some days are better than others. As we are learning , Nerves will do some strange things.

Another reality this week has been the fact that he is here for a spinal injury. In his mind he went in for neck surgery and came out unable to walk. While this is fact, the whole point of neck surgery is because his spine was so damaged. Sometimes the trauma is unseen and it really makes it harder to grasp. Though , when we look at many of the symptoms he has struggled with for years , it makes sense that this has been occuring over a long period of time, unbeknown to us. Each day we are thankful that he did not incur one more bang to his head, or this recovery would look completely different.

There were many things to share from this week , but mostly tonight I just want to brag on Jerry. After all these weeks, his spirits are still high. he gives God all the glory for every small victory. He is in the word every morning and he has something new to share with me every day about how God is speaking to him. I am in awe of his strength, not that I doubt it, but his complete dependence on the Lord and his unwaivering faith. What a blessing to be walking alongside of this guy for the rest of my life. I know in our weakness the Lord is carrying us through this. As his wife, what a joy to have him encouraging and reminding me each day of God's greatness and love for us. There have been many times when he has been so down with injuries, where I just have to be tough and pick up and keep us all going and focused , but there is such a peace as I let go and let God carry and Lead my Husband as he Leads us, One step at a time....

Here are some highlights of the past week's success - We are so thankful for each of you as you come alongside of us. May your weekend be blessed and Joy filled, dear friends.

We continue to covet your prayers and Thank you for Loving and supporting us through this season.

Jerry's Rehab -Week 1 One Step at a time :) from Tammy Hollaway on Vimeo.

ENJOY :)

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Just a nice weekend

It was a good weekend.  We had lots of visiting this weekend.  It seemed to fly by.  There were moments I even felt like we were back visiting and everything was nearly normal.. Then I would notice Jerry sitting in his wheelchair. I know this is the beginning of a new season. It is good to be reminded that things are really still the same.  God created us to be unique , each and every one of  us, no matter what our physical abilities.  What a joy to be able to just be who we are :)

What a blessing to share the Fisher House this weekend and just enjoy fellowshipping. Jerry had such joy.  Kids picked up pizza's and cake for Katie's bday and we feasted.  We had lots to share and it was nice to connect with people here in the house as well.  It was also an opportunity to witness and love on others.

When we were saying good bye to our Sat guests, we were asked to pray for two different ladies  in the house and their husbands whom are both facing difficult health issues.  It is nice to be ready and willing to be used by God even though we are having our own tough journey.  Really, maybe its all to    just be available and witness to God during this time.

More family came today.  Was nice seeing them.
I even got to sleep in today.  I got a phone call at 830 and couldn't believe I was still asleep. It was so good .. Just the time to rest and recharge , its the little things these days.
Lord, help us to keep our eyes open so you can use us.
Thank you for all that you have given us and all that  you are doing for us each and every day.
Talked to the kids tonight and it was so good to just hear all their voices.
Oh how I miss them, I know in the big scheme of things this time is just a small amount of time, but it is still difficult.  But it is so reassuring that the Lord has given them calm spirits through this time.
What a blessing.  Jerry and I were talking today about how the older two really had to grow up more just to take on the responsibilities at home.  We can't wait to get home from all this and have some fun family times.  Oh how we are looking forward to all of that.
Well, I have listened to several house guests come and go tonight, I have sat and listened to their stories of the day. So many things in each of their lives.  Just listening to them and knowing ways to pray for them tonight.  Now , My laundry is done so it is time to say goodnight. May God bless you on your journey.
Luv and Hugs~Tammy

Here in the midst of it all.....

It has been two weeks since Jerry went in for his Cervical Laminectomy. The past two weeks have been some what of a whirlwind, even a blur at times. This surgery to repair his spinal cord has brought us into a completely new world. From the episodes before surgery until now, we have been away from home nearly 3 weeks. My emotions have went from anxious, to excited , to worry, concern, heart ache, fear, relief, loneliness, frustration, disappointment, sadness, weakness, humbled, joy filled and many more. I am blessed to be next door in this lovely room at the Fisher House, it is bigger than our room at home, geez its nearly as big as half our house... since our home is just over 700sq ft it doesn't take much ;) The past two nights I have finally been able to sleep calmly, without the flood of tears. The emotions seem to be at bay for now.
We moved to the VA Hospital in Seattle on Monday. He started in acute Rehab and on day 2 it was decided that he should move to the Spinal Cord Injury Unit. It is an amazing place and they are focused on walking with you through the journey of your spinal cord injury. It has taken us a few days to understand the complete injury of his spinal cord. Its one thing to go into surgery, understanding that it needs to be done now and then waking up with loss of function and moving into this whole new world.
I honestly can say that my joy has been zapped a few times these past few weeks. I try hard to seek the joy in everything. My eyes have been foggy to pretty much everything. Exhaustion makes it all so unclear. Watching the Love of your life, lying there weak when you know him as a strong tower in your life is difficult. On day 2 here, he was given a new wheel chair. He laughed at them, I fought back tears. He told them :He would be walking as soon as they gave him a chance; He is still saying that :) I am still fighting back tears but I am right there beside him to cheer him on. That day was hard, I came back to my room and cried that night until there were no tears left to cry. I struggled with the "why" and I couldn't find the words to even pray. My heart just ached, I was mad that this surgery was going to bring new life to our family and NOW things were really going to be different, but not the way I had pictured.
GOD is NOT SURPRISED BY THIS.. it is part of his perfect plan. He can move mountains, he can raise the dead, he can heal the sick.. He can heal Jerry. IF it is HIS will and WHEN he is ready.
Those are the words Jerry reminded me of on Wednesday. We sat together and just cried together for over an hour. I am always the optimist, I seek and I find joy. Jerry was not sure what to think when I told him , "I don't know what to think anymore, I don't know how to pray through this" I am just weak and my heart hurts " He looked at me and said "I know God is going to use me and our story , I do not know if He wants me in this wheelchair or to be walking , BUT I know he is going to use me and our family, so let's trust him together. "

26 Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words. Romans 8:26

The Joy-giver that caught me in that moment was, completely opening my heart to Jerry and when I had nothing to give him he picked me up and encouraged me and strengthened me. Our marriage has grown stronger every day during this journey this year, but this moment was pivotal.As weak as he is physically, I see him stronger than ever spiritually. And really there is no better place to be. If his strength remained to be spiritual and not physical , I could not be happier. I LOVE how God has grabbed his heart and is filling him to the brim. He inspires me daily :)

The days are long and Jerry has a tough road ahead, but if it is bringing glory to God and believe me, He is sharing greatness of our Heavenly Father with everyone we meet. There is Joy in my steps again. We conquer each day with new HOPE . He tells his great stories, I am by his side, helping and encouraging him as he takes a step, or pulls his body up into a sitting position, as he learns to transfer from the bed to his chair, to push him when his arms are just too tired. In the last two days we were signed off , so I can assist him with his transfers so he didn't need a nurse for escaping the bed`;) and today his therapist took us on a field trip- she had him travel through the hospital and outside and across the rd to the Fisher House. !! Yay , how wonderful . His Dr. signed him off on a pass to come to the Fisher House and so the kids are coming up this weekend and he can visit without being in the Hospital setting. It is such a blessing !!

Meanwhile, back at home; the kids are tending to everything. We have great friends looking in, taking time to handle situations, feeding them delicious meals, having play dates , finishing up transcripts;) finalizing school and just being there for them. I want to encourage you moms, that are raising littles , it is so hard somedays but don't give up ! We are so blessed by how the kids have stepped up and are being so responsible. I miss them terribly, my mama heart longs to have them with me, the quietness is disheartening after a day or so. I am so thankful I can have peace within this absence and be here to walk alongside of Jerry. I am thankful for the way God is growing them closer and carrying them through this season.
Please pray with us :
Thank you Lord for bringing Jerry this far, for giving him peace for igniting his heart and giving you all the Glory
Thank you for the team working with him , continue to pray for wisdom for them
Thank you Lord for all the many ways you are carrying us through this and providing all our needs
Thank you for your covering over the Kids while we are away
Thank you for the Fisher House
Continued prayer for Jerry's body to be completely restored.
Pray for strength each day as it gets physically harder with each therapy.
Pray for the families we meet each day that have loved ones here, that we can speak words of hope and encouragement into their lives.
May we both have endurance , as the days are long and emotionally as well as physically exhausting
Let my eyes seek the Joy and stay focused on Jesus.
Thank you all for coming alongside and being our great encouragers.
We are Thankful for each of you, May the Lords face shine brightly upon each of you as you walk your journey today, Seek the JOY !!

Here is the address to the Hospital if you want to send a card :

Dept Of VA

Puget Sound Health Care System

1660 South Columbian Way

Seattle, WA 98108-1597

Spinal Cord Injury Unit

119-B

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The road ahead...

**** I started this post days ago, and will update again soon, but to catch y'all up :)

It has been 8 days since Jerry went in for Surgery.  It feels like much longer, already.  The day of surgery could not have came any later.  He used a walker with a seat, struggling to go each step. We made it to the check-in and waited to be called back.  His body was so weak that last day.  For so long , I have watched him struggle to do simple tasks that had become so difficult.  It was like so much of him was shutting down.  When we learned of the damage to his spinal cord, just 2 weeks before, so many things began to make sense.    This surgery was the key to regaining his life again.  This surgery was necessary to prevent paralysis.  We looked forward to May 8th as the beginning of something new.  We looked back on all the ways the Lord had protected him from something much more serious. We have been beyond thankful.

We went in to surgery knowing what the surgeon told us about the outcome.  We went forward knowing that God is not surprised by anything that happens and if our faith is in him, we must trust what lays ahead.  We went in to surgery with such hopes of things changing and improving quickly.  HOPE is all you have.  There are never guarantees.  Except the guarantee of eternal life IF you put your trust in the Lord completely, if you surrender it all to him.   Beyond that great and beautiful knowledge , we can only Hope for the outcome of everything else.  But hope is a gift.  A precious gift.  The surgeon told us that many times, his patients wake up in recovery with more movement than they have had before surgery.  He told us that sometimes, within a few days, the movements become improved.  He told us that sometimes, after surgery things are still the same, but that the damage has been stopped and that is a good thing.  He told us that sometimes, things get worse and hopefully they will improve.  Sometimes they get worse and it takes a lot of work to return function  , if at all.

Jerry is right there in the midst of this.  He awoke with very little sensation in his extremities.  He was fearful in those first hours. My heart sank.  Deep in the back of my mind I remembered all the Dr had spoke to us the week earlier.  I still longed for that quick, healing.  As the days have gone on, it has been one moment at  time.  Managing pain was so difficult the first few days. Then it has been regaining sensation in some areas and yet others still come and go. The first 5 days I could not leave his side.  It is still hard to leave, but I am learning that my sleep is necessary to help him through each day.  Each day is a little better than the last. He has now got to the point of taking  about 6-8 shuffled steps with a walker to get from the bed to a chair.  It is only about 2 ft but to us it seems like a mile.We  are trusting a complete recovery.  Accepting that the road ahead is going to be long and the days are not going to be easy.  You can not go on a journey without at least,an idea of whats ahead. No hope in seeing anything, sounds like a disappointment from the get go. We anticipate change and look forward to seeing it come to fruition.  This journey has a long road before us, I can honestly say my heart hurts at once ahead but I can also see how the Lord continues to pave the way.

Sunday we had visitors, friends, family and two of our kiddos.  Jerry was able to get in a wheel chair and we took over the family room and had a bit of family style dinner thanks to the Colonel-KFC.  It was just fun to have a bit of something normal.  and just to spend time with the kids was so heart filling for both of us.

A New Vision

I have tried to write something for the past two weeks but keep coming up with lost thoughts.  So much is happening each day, good and bad, that  it becomes overwhelming to just process the day.

Last Tuesday, we met the Neurosurgeon whom will be doing Jerry's surgery.  I new without a doubt that if a young Resident Surgeon walked through the door, I was bolting, draggin Jerry along with me.  I needed to see experience, I have put my trust in the Lord for placing the right Dr at the right time to do this surgery for Jerry, but I knew what my expectations were.  As Jerry eyed all the prosthetic spinal hardware displayed in the office, I was going over all the questions we had.  The Dr. was already seeing us after hours , which was quite accomadating to the need to proceed soon with treatment.  As the Surgeon walked in, I pictured him with a football tucked in his arm, rushing past a defense line, plowing them down one at a time.  I really could not picture him with a scalpel in his hands, prepared to make incisions on my best friends neck !! I listened to him talk and found his gentleness in his words.  His care for what was to be done, the team he had arranged to come alongside of him  and the critical-ness of Jerry's spine.  I was thankful for this man, this professional whom would be handling the delicateness of my man.
Have you ever seen an MRI ?  It is a deeper image than an xray and is quite fascinating. I am going to share part of Jerry's MRI, to show the extent of his damage.  A little knowledge- the spinal canal runs on each side of the spinal cord and the cord is inside of the vertebrae to keep it protected.  When you see this picture you will see the white lines on the both sides of the spinal canal.  However as you go down his spine you will see where that canal is not visible.  The vertebrae are constricting his cord with very little space left. This is his Cervical spine- neck area.

Part of c4-c7 will be removed during surgery to release pressure on the spinal cord.

We understood it was damaged, but a picture relays the message so clearly.  Once we saw this image, we really understood how Blessed and protected Jerry was this year.  In Dec , when he injured his back for the umpteenth time, this last time had a bigger purpose than we knew.

Having all these months to allow for his back injury to be milder (not healed yet) but more tolerable, has been a blessing.  Having him slow down and rest was needed.  His energy has continued to decrease through the months.  His nerves have continued to shut down in areas . ONE MORE TIME of getting under a horse could have could have been detrimental to his body.  We are really thankful as we look back and see how he was protected. The time it has taken to get the medical team we have, has been worth it.  God's timing is perfect even when it has been hard. 

The day after we met the surgeon, was another reminder of trusting and seeing the Lord protect.  The news we learned from our meeting with the Surgeon opened our eyes to a future that seemed to be filled with dreams.  Jerrys health has been declining for years.  He has been limited in activities with us for most of Isaia (our 7 yr olds) life.  We left the Dr's office with so much HOPE it was overwhelming.  The thought that this injury to his spine could change so many of his symptoms and restore a life I have not seen in him in years.  We are in AWE of what the Lord has been doing in our lives and especially how he is restoring Jerry's health.  The time he has given us as a family is such a treasured gift. The journey of walking in Faith and trusting God for EVERY need we have is humbling and amazing. We feel so Blessed and Grateful each and every day.  The days of unknown are becoming  clearer , the vision of a different future for our family is so exciting. :)

Jerry was up in the early hours Wed, spending time with God, praying and praising and drawing closer to him than anything he has experienced in a long time.  It was such a spiritual breakthrough with his relationship with Our Heavenly Father  He was so renewed and excited by morning and could  not wait to go and speak to our Pastors and share his joy.  He hasn't drove much because he usually has little strength and just his pain. Plus -I do hover over him as much as I can :)

He drove the 10 minutes to church and spent some time sharing, while there he had an episode where he seemed to have lost consciousness for a little bit, though he had sat alone and no one knew. 

He later drove to a friends on a mission to deliver some Joy !!  

While there, his whole demeanor changed and he was overcome with faint feeling and then began having a seizere type episode. Medics came and brought him to ER.  I got a call saying they were calling 911, my mind froze at first then began the panic mode. * I am usually pretty on target for staying focused in difficulties but this one was more than my heart could bear.  Jerry is the Love of my love, my best friend, my right hand , my heart sank and it took my 18 yr old to take charge of the rest of the kids and direct me and drive me to the ER.(So thankful for that Boy) Now at the ER, he  then had leg tremors that would not stop fo rover half an hour.  It was hard to see him unable to control his body.  Heavy muscle relaxers were given and his body calmed down.  Most of this was considered to be because of his spine, but days of tests were done to ensure nothing else was wrong.I have said many times throughout some of our difficult times, DO not be discouraged by the Valleys , as sad and tough as they can be, there is so much beauty there.  The river is flowing , the trees bear fruit, It can be a place to sit and rest and be filled up !!  

The Olympic Mts peaking out, we live in a beautiful part of the country, don't we !!

  

Look at the view outside Jerry's window, one is the courtyartd below and one is just looking west out the window, What a beautiful blessing.  Even the time away at the hospital, although it wasn't fun and dandy, it was time.  Time together, to just focus on things without the kids and everything else that comes in.  We haven't really had time away since all this started months ago, so as hard as it was it was also good. 

We really hope that people don't feel sad for us that we are going through this season.  I do not say that it is easy, but its joy filled, Really !!  There were times this past week when the scene inside the window was not so cheerful, but oh my, what a gift to look out the window and be reminded of our great Creator whom is not surprised by any of this.  Whom created this majestic beauty outside. What a JOY giver HE is !

2 Consider it all joy, my brethren, when you encounter various trials,3 knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance. James 1:2-3 (NASB)

We know this season is upon us for a reason.  Jerry had this revelation this week that yes, his body is weak, but the Lord is going to continue to use him, he just needs him strong and healthy again. AND we BELIEVE that he will be.  

This week, we are taking things slow.  There have been Dr appts and more to come before Surgery on Friday.  Jerry is mobile with the help of a walker. If I could put him in bubble wrap this week, I would have.  We are on watch 24/7 just to keep him safe.  No tripping or falling !!

Jerry was finally sitting up and feeling better this weekend. 

The surgery will be intense and he will be on heavy pain meds for the next month.  It is going to be a slow process to recovery but we are excited for the end result. We will keep our eyes on the Lord and trust that whatever comes will be his will. The Surgeon did say that there is a good probablility that all his issues will slowly resolve.  But that since his spine has been constricted for probably some time, that there is a chance things could be the same as they are.  Jerry is at a place where he is ok with that.  He knows the Lord is using this and will use it for us to be a Lighthouse to shine His love.

We have complete trust as we continue to walk this journey.

We are truly thankful for each need that is met before we even know its a need !! We have not gone without anything. We have been overwhelmed with love and support.  We are so thankful for each of you walking through this with us.  

Pray with us :

That the Lord would be seen in and through us as we go forward each day.

Pray that Peace would continue to overflow  

That HE would continue to bring healing into Jerry's body.

That HE would continue to provide every need.

That he would guide the Surgeons hands and the entire team.

That he would restore Jerrys nerve damage

That our family would continue to grow stronger

Prayers for strength and endurance as I stnd beside Jerry and care for him

Protect the kids and their hearts as they watch Dad go through this difficult time

Pray that any fears that creep in about surgery would be diminished.

Praise God for his perfect timing

Praise God for his protection over Jerry, esp. these past 5 months

We pray for each of you reading this that you may see the Love of the Lord through our journey and may yu find hope in the difficult times as well as the good times. 

Thank you each for coming alongside of us, we are so thankful for each of you .

This was alot to share but I hope you have a picture of what's going on. If you would like to send Jerry a card here is our address: if you want to connect with us just leave a comment and we will get back to you soon.

PO Box 637

Lakebay, WA 98349

Much Love and thankfulness,
Tammy,Jerry and Family

The bigger picture ...

At Christmas, Jerry injured his back and we  realized that it was not going to be a  quick fix.  We have seen how God used that injury to bring change to Jerry's career and allowed us the opportunity to focus completely in trusting the Lord more and more. When you have stability, you are thankful for that stable routine day to day.  When that stability, even if it was a little unknown each day, becomes rocked and not something to count on, you can feel troubles multiply.  But you don't have to let troubles creep in and sink you.  There is something so grand and peaceful having our trust in the Lord.  He is constant, HE loves us unconditionally, He wants what is best for us.  Having a vision beyond yourself , where you can focus on the true meaning of the journey changes the perspective.  We can't  meet our troubles with fear or we can get overwhelmed with all the what's? and Why's and How are we going to .....  ( I have slipped into those spots these past few months, BUT only for a few moments.  BECAUSE, fear is a heavy burden which we can not carry around when we have so much to do.)  I could not focus on being the Wife, Mom, friend, teacher and all the other things that I need to be on a daily basis, if I spent my days worrying and living in fear.  What a blessing to cast those thoughts  into the hands of the Lord and TRUST his perfect plan.

Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you. 1 Peter 5:7

Well, its been a few weeks of waiting around here.  Jerry has been doing Physical Therapy for his back and that has really helped alleviate some of the pain.  The PT Dr. Has been great.  He is also doing Occupational Therapy for his hands.  His right hand has become worse with the numbing and the loss of use. He has trouble using utensils, and holding onto things.   In the past week or so he is noticing more of the numbing coming across his left hand as well.   We have been waiting for the MRI for his upper spine.  We had that on Friday morning.  By Friday night we had a message from the Orthopedic Dr asking us to call him on his cell Sat. Jerry spoke to him Sat morning and he said he wanted Jerry into Neurologist soon, he has 3 vertebrae constricting his spinal cord in his neck- cervical spine.  By Sunday, the Neurologist called us and said he has Jerry scheduled for surgery in May and we are meeting with him next week.  So, we have the next plan.

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Jeremiah 29:11

Three months ago, the big problem was Jerry's back. We found joy in that pain by giving his body a break from Farrier work. There has been such peace knowing he would not go out and be injured again.  I have been able to spend time with him that I have missed for many years.  No more early mornings and late nights.  There has been joy in this time of difficulty.
NOW, I have a new perspective again.  Praise the Lord he injured his back, because if he had not,  we would not have found out in time about his neck-spinal damage. Dr's calling on the weekend to speak to us , shows the concern they have and the care they have for their patients. We are thankful for the Medical team Jerry has been placed with . We appreciate the waiting, now he gets moved at a faster pace and we can see that because we know what its like to wait. So this new diagnosis can still bring JOY that they found it in the nic of time !!

The last few weeks have been filled with emotions.  Watching Jerry become more alive than he has in months, thanks to the PT. He still has hard days, but he is moving around more, and that is a JOY GIVER..... AJ turned in all his paperwork for his Eagle Scout application :) He also turned 18 last week, where did the time go ?  He was able to go down to Louisiana this week to visit my family....(here is a Mom emotion to share ):  He had to be at the airport at 4 am, he was flying standby and so I was thinking I would just walk him in til he got to security... Well, Jerry decided to go along so I wouldn't be alone in the wee hours.   Then he decided to drive, which was nice for a change.   Well, as we arrived at the airport , he pulled up to the curb and said "Have a great time , Buddy! " My Mama heart just about sank, This was not my expectation and boy did I have to suck it up to give him a hug and  say goodbye !!  Jerry reminded me he is only gone a week, BUT in my mind,  the next time it might not be a week.  This boy has big dreams and one of these days he will lift his wings and soar.  Needless to say , tears rolled down my cheek till the Tacoma Dome , then I could finally enjoy the rest of our morning ride together :)
  Katie is becoming more confident and coming out of her quiet shell. Sarah, whom has struggled with her reading , has become unstoppable with a book in her hands at all hours. Isaia, is still our silly guy.. he is still having these strange "zaps" (so keep praying for answers to that one ) and is in a new stage with his speech , which we will be going to Children's hospital for assessments once things settle down, somewhat.

 The Lord continues to provide for us, in all ways.  Through many of your hands, we are beyond greatful.  There is something so lovely about being in such a difficult season but having complete Peace.  There is so many unknowns ahead and yet there is a Peace beyond all our understanding as we move forward in this journey.  It reminds us that this is part of the plan, and HE is allowing this season to restore Jerry's health and our family time to prepare us for something greater.   We are so in AWE of everything that has been happening these past months and how we are feeling so loved by the Lord and all of you.  Thanks for coming alongside of us.  I pray as we share this you will see the Joy that we see in these hard times.  That even in the hard times, God is in control and his plan is perfect.

Please pray with us -
Praise the Lord that Jerry's back injury revealed this spinal damage !!!
Praise God that he continues to take care of all our needs.
Praise for all the family time we are having
That we would keep our eyes on Jesus, He is the Author of this story.
That we would cast all fears unto him, as soon as they creep in.
That Jerrys nerves will not get worse before we get in to Dr
That the pain would be alleviated
That the peace we have would continue to overflow
That we can continue to trust the Lord for all provisions
Pray for wisdom for the Neurosurgeon as he gathers the perfect team for the procedure
Thank you for all your Love and prayers, May the Lord's face shine upon each of you and Bless you .
Much Love,
Tammy and Jerry

His mercies are new Each and Every day...

I really enjoy the opportunity to pour my thoughts out, whether anyone reads them or not , I am ok with that, either way.  There are many whom ask how we are doing and I feel like this is an easy way to share.  My hope is that I can be real and share our journey , the good days and the hard days , while  allowing the Lord's presence to be the Light of our story.  I hope our joys will encourage you as well as our struggles.  I hope that you see, that even on the hard days , the Lord is continuous in his Love and Faithfulness.
I don't plan to write everyday , but feel that after sharing my difficul day Wednesday I would like to share how the Lord SHINED SO BRIGHTLY UPON ME TODAY....(Thursday)

Wednesday was just a weird , normal day.  I was reminded that when you are in pain your mood can sting.  I was quite discouraged Wed night, but ultimately still know that God's plan is perfect.  I want to share a glimpse of our Blessed day with you , not at all to be "braggy".  Just to show you how the Lord has continued to provide and bless us each day of this journey. Not ever the same way twice, but he always shows up and has continuously spoke to me in that small , quiet voice , saying " He has us , he is carrying us "  For a time Wed, I forgot.  But as we go on this journey he doesn't let me forget for very long. Praise the Lord !!

Thursdays are our co-op days so we are up and out of the house early.  I teach two classes so I am always a bit scattered in the morning, making sure we have it all. Today, we left without rushing and made it with plenty of time to spare.  Classes went well, besides the Sun not appearing til the end of my science class where we made sun dials ;) Oh well...
Familiar faces and lots of smiles were part of the day, worship time during Chapel was filling my cup already this morning. Such a Joy giver to me !!
An envelope was passed my way which was full of encouraging words and a blessing to our family. The words- "The Lord just wants you to know He LOVES you so much and not to worry about anything, He is carrying you " Tears rolled down my cheeks.

After co-op , the youngers and I are off to the store for a few things. Just so happens there was funds in the envelope to cover all the things I was planning to get today, plus some extra things. Thank you Lord for always providing ,Just what we need , when we need it.
Yet he has not left himself without testimony: He has shown kindness by giving you rain from heaven and crops in their seasons; he provides you with plenty of food and fills your hearts with Joy.”Acts 14:17

Piano lessons went well, then off to pick up Katie. We leave those great friends with some homemade cookies for a treat at home~feeling so blessed.  A stop at the Library and then we would head home. 
Meanwhile, at home Jerry and AJ are welcoming my In-laws who drove over from Puyallup.  I was  honestly a little stressed about them coming today.Mostly because the house was ready for friends to visit but not really family (y'know !) Have not seen them since Christmas, they are an hour away , so I was feeling a bit disconnected with them.  I Love them dearly but find myself in such a different world than they are most days, just keeping up with school and kids ,and they have there own busy lives.  The kids were so glad to see them and it was a nice visit. Jan brought me a sign she found today and said she instantly thought of me, that made me tear up..... it says "Life is a journey, enjoy it"--do you see why I teared up :)  I was very blessed by the gift of this sign ..What a special Joy Giver !!!

On the front porch this afternoon was a mason jar full of tulips. (Mason jars and tulips are Joy-givers y'know)
Then a knock at the door brought a Beautiful, smiling face of a friend whom had Lemon bread to bring a little cheer to our day ! (Lemon anything- another Joy Giver)
Friends, sweet sisters who send encouraging texts at the perfect time- AMAZING JOY GIVERS

Jerry came to Bible study tonight , for the first time in ages.  It was so good to be in the Word together and fellowshipping with our friends.  I hope if you are following along with us ,you can see how Much Our Heavenly Father Loves us all. 

Thanks for your prayers Thursday-I felt them from the moment my feet hit the floor !!!

 I urge you, brothers and sisters, by our Lord Jesus Christ and by the love of the Spirit, to join me in my struggle by praying to God for me. Romans 15:30


I am so Thankful for yesterday so that I could receive His New Mercies Today !!! The Lord is the Great JOY GIVER..
Keep Looking for the Joy my friends..
Love, Hugs and Blessings
Tammy

Keeping our heads up through the process....

We are in month 4 of this journey.  I remind myself often that this is part of a greater plan.  We prayed for a change and we never know what that change is going to look like until we can look back on it. So for now we trust the plan and keep stepping forward.

It is not easy, somedays everything just sails along , almost normal.  WHATEVER THAT IS !!!
But most days have bumps in them, nothing major but enough to slow us down and remind us that we are still in the process.
Jerry has been doing Physical Therapy for two weeks now.  He was very hesitant to even go.  The Dr. is wonderful.  He is very thorough and really gives insight into everything he does.  He is teaching me some things to do at home with Jerry and has given Jerry plenty of exercises to help relieve some of the pain in his lower back.  It is not a quick fix but it is good to see Jerry walking a little straighter after he does therapy.  The biggest concern with the Dr.s now is actually his upper back and neck area.  even though the pain is down lower.  He has some severe damage up there and we are waiting on the MRI to get a better idea of whats happening. (His hands are having some serious nerve issues, so between Physical and occupational therapy they are working through some ways to keep them strengthened. ) We are getting closer, we were going to try and switch providers for it, but with our insurance as long as it is here it will be covered and it would make the wait maybe longer with more paperwork.  So , this gives the therapy time to start working and help improve the lower back for now.
Pain management is key to this.  If he maintains his routine with it, he is much more tolerable of being up and around.  It is milder and he can function somewhat.  When he misses it or decides to hold off, it reminds him he definitely has an injury still.  Which is good and bad.  It is not his desire to stay in need of the meds but for now they are helping in the process.

This past week, after Physical Therapy he made it to Good Friday service, which was great and also Sunday to Resurrection Service .  It was nice to have him by my side.  It had been a long time since all 6 of us were together for service.  What a JOY to my heart.

As slow as things seem most days, life is going by fast. Jerry has been up supervising AJ with his Eagle Projects the last few weeks.  That has finally finished and he turns in his application tomorrow. So happy to see that coming to an end and knowing all his hard work is going to be rewarded .  Our boy is turning 18 Sunday and it seem like such a whirlwind of emotions as a Mom looking back and ahead. My mind has been so focused on keeping things going and helping Jerry be comfortable and I feel like I blinked and our boy is turning into a man.  Though he has really stepped up these past months and we are thankful for the Man he is becoming.

My spiritual tank feels a little empty this past week or so and I am starting to just be weary of the journey. I am thankful for the bits of progress, disappointed that this isn't an easy fix.  I wonder what's ahead more lately than I have in the past.  I need to remind myself of the great things I know and trust the Lord to do through this.  I think we can be strong  but also feel tired during difficult times.  I am there, encouragement is needed. Just so I can get my focus back and keep my eyes upon the Lord.
It is late and tomorrow is a long busy day, but I wanted to give a little peek at whats going on this week.
 Thanks for checking in on us and know we are so thankful for each of you and all your kind words and Love and support.
Pray with us :
 Jerry would continue to be released from pain that his nerve issues in his hands would not increase
                        Physical Therapy would continue to help
                         The drive back and forth would be tolerable
                          I can seek the Joy and not be discouraged
                          That we can keep our eyes on the Lord and Trust his plan through this

Love and Blessings
~Tammy

Keep looking for the Joy

I am trying to figure out how I can still have peace yet feel such discouragement.
Today was the long awaited appt with the Orthopedic Dr.
I have been a bit stressed this week knowing there are several important things coming together at the same time, or at least, Possibly !
 Thankful that there was grace for my plans today, was a start to a good day.  Then, we found a parking spot right near the entrance to the Dr. which was just another little joy giver.   Jerry checked in and they whisked him off to do some new Xrays.  Things were just so efficient, I was pleased.    Jerry fashioning blue paper shorts as he wobbled off to xray,  well, that was a bonus joygiver today ;)

He is being seen at the military hospital.  There is something unique about sitting in a waiting room with Veterans and Active duty  and spouses that just brings honor to your heart. Plus , being in a medical facility brings back such good memories for me of my time working in the clinics.  Those memories are for another story , though ;)

After seeing the Orthopedic Surgeon, many new things have came up.  The nerve function in his hands could be triggered by several different things, which must be checked into.  The back pain is still very much at the forefront of our concerns. After reviewing results,  The Dr. didn't see the severe injury we were expecting, at least not in his lower back.  He has some severe damage to his neck area of his spine . Which they sent him for more Xrays and have ordered another MRI.  The back pain, which seems to be the priority, only to us, is not showing enough signs of what is wrong with it to proceed with an effective treatment. Jerry needs to go back to Primary care and have some more tests and try some new meds for right now.  There are more hoops to go through to get things done effectively and timely with insurance (though I am beyond thankful that we have it).  So , right now the only new news we have is that he has more appts....

It is hard to keep positive tonight when I am tired of seeing him in pain, I want to trust the plan that is  unknown, but set before us.   I know I can, but for tonight its just a time to wonder why? and what's next ?
My mind is busy with to do lists for the next few days :

A friend is waiting on their little one to enter the world, I am excited to Doula for them, HUGE JOY GIVER !!
Tomorrow , I need to be able to focus and make phone calls and keep this process moving. Tomorrow , Isaia has an appt for some things going on with his speech delays
I am choosing to look for the Joy givers throughout the day.  Those keep my cup full, when I feel the joy is leaking out.
The sun was out today and it was so lovely.  That is a great joy -giver.
I need to find time to catch up at home, things have been allowed to slack around here and I have lost my motivation with Jerry home.
The fun days have been few and far between and I know getting my chaos turned into calm will allow time to make "fun" days again.

• If you are praying with us 
• Thank you for your Love and support
• Thank you for your words of encouragement
• Please pray for complete healing of Jerry's body.
• Pray for wisdom with all the xrays to see the root cause of his pain
• Pray for any nerve damage to be reversed
• Pray for us to be Strong and Courageous through this journey
• Pray we can get answers to Isaia's delays that will help unlock his struggle with his speech
• Pray for me to get a handle on the things at home that need to be in order and be a JOYful mom  as we do it.
• And that we can find some FUN family time opportunity after this week.

Thanks for coming along this journey with us :)

Love and Blessings,

Tammy